By Marcello Veneziani
Povera Theresa May. Poor Angela Merkel. Poor Emmanuel Macron. Povero Pedro Gonzales. Everyone's in trouble, in free fall, unpopular and crucified. And us? And, we are in bad shape as an indebted country, banned as the homeland of the populists in government, we will also be slapped, under threat of infringement proceedings, compared to other European states we have different types of problems, otherwise serious. But we have a surprise card to play that the others don't have. All over Europe, prime ministers are sinking, presidents falter, instead we have a totally waterproof premier, transparent, virgin of all guilt and outrage, exonerated from all charges. Giuseppe Conte, Professor Sarchiapone brought to Palazzo Chigi by a hormonal storm of the institutions, enjoys a kind of safe conduct, of multilateral relief, of political safety, as if he were a minor. Because he doesn't come from the two infamous movements, la Lega is in 5stelle, he has no militancy behind him, no criminal record, civil and human; he has never attacked or even criticized Europe, the Eurocrats, other governments, the other parties, Nobody. He is as pure as a lily, and although they shape, totally alien to the bloody life of his land, held hostage by the Gargano mafia.
And he acts as president with grace, without tearing the engine as Lucio Battisti would say.
We invented a new role for the prime minister: he presides but does not govern, figure but does not decide, he's an alien, an irresponsible by contract. Conte is a kind of ambassador to Europe and the world. E si sa, ambassador does not bring punishment. So Trump gets pissed off, Merkel caresses him, Juncker hugs him continuously and not just to lean on him because he leads Europe in an evident state of inebriation. He is exonerated from all guilt, our Peppino. If they have to challenge the government they take it out on them Salvini, first of all, then with Di Maio. If they even take it out on Toninelli and Castelli or if they really have to point the finger at Palazzo Chigi, the blame lies with his spokesperson, the evil Rocco Casalino. But Conte doesn't, Conte has nothing to do with it, he is a soldier. He enjoys a kind of presidential immunity. Everything that happens in Italy is never his fault, from the economic maneuver to the political line of the government he presides over. If people take to the streets, they are the enemy of the protesters, of the antagonists or of the madamines, it's Salvini or Di Maio, maybe it's Grillo. But Conte doesn't, he is neither Yes Tav nor No Tav, but it's yes-Tavor, restful. It is neither pro-migrant nor anti-migrant, being Martian. He is innocent by definition, like children. And innocent means not capable of harm. He enjoys a presidential income, variant of citizenship income, which collects automatically, a subsidy given to the trust because it is gender neutral.
We can say that we have invented a unique figure of prime minister in the world. Count Zio. Not the father of the government nor the son of the yellow ideology, green or yellow-green. It's just Uncle. The uncle count is one Manzonian figure which appears in the Betrothed as a supporting actor, because they are the spouses, Renzo Salvini and Lucia Di Maio. “The uncle count, robed, and one of the elders of the council, enjoyed a certain credit", explains Manzoni. His prestige had increased after a trip abroad, not in Brussels but in Madrid. Diplomatic, prudent, shrewd, a little inconsistent "like those boxes... with certain Arabic words on them and there's nothing inside". He was the uncle of two characters in the novel Don Rodrigo and Count Attilio, we don't know which of the two is Giggino and which is Giggetto, that is Matthew. However, our Count Zio arouses human sympathy and even civil consideration because he knows how to remain in important forums. The Uncle Manzonian Count looks a lot like the Prime Minister Count, even if we hope he doesn't end up with the plague like him. He is saving us from Sanctions, putting himself in the middle of the fateful event 2,4. The virtue of zero.
MV, 15 December 2018
Source: http://www.marcelloveneziani.com/articoli/il-conte-zio/